No Ragrets

So. Soooo. Some of you readers know the Soctopus' Mom has been battling breast cancer for many years. A few of you know that she recently was diagnosed, after almost 8 years of remission, with metastases to the lung and bone. That's bad. Really, really bad. So bad. But still, there was always a kernel of hope. Especially because Mom Soctopus is a fighter, and very positive. Whelp.

The Soctopus just spoke with her Mom's MD. That rash Mom Soctopus hid for two months? The biopsy is back, and it's cutaneous metastatic breast cancer. Which is a diagnosis that essentially means treatment stops, hope ends, and tears come. Essentially, a diagnosis of Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here. The Soctopus has cried tonight, let me tell you. A lot.

So the Soctopus ladies spoke this evening and decided on three days to cry, to get it all out. And then we plan our adventures. Every few months, we'll go on an adventure of Mom Soctopus' choice, and make this time as fun as we can. No ragrets, y'all. Not even one letter. Live your life to the fullest and never forget to say "I love you."

Balms Away!

ZOMG Epically Epic goodies!

w

The Soctopus came home to an amazing -dare I say it- epic mail day this afternoon. Less than one week after placing a custom order, my Epically Epic Soap Co. order arrived. (Side note: service from Epically Epic Soap has always been outstanding. Always.) This order included a lip tint ($3.75), a lip balm ($3.75), and two Many -Purpose Balms ($8.50). I've ordered from EESC many times over the past several years, and I've always been happy with my purchases. This is no exception.

This order included the Cranberry Lime balm, Summer Nights balm, Rainbow Sherbet lip balm, and Peach Macaroon lip tint. The balms are amazing. Cranberry lime smells like cranberry ginger ale, light and clean. Summer Nights is one of my favorite scents. This is the second balm I've ordered in the same scent, because the first tin was used up with love. It is a peach/patchouli scent, which sounds odd on paper but is magnificent in person. It also goes nicely with the Peach Macaroon lip tint, which leaves a light wash of peachy coral color, like a flush, and smells like sweet peaches on the lips. The Many-Purpose balms are smooth and light and sink into the skin quickly without leaving an oily or greasy residue. I usually carry one in my purse to use as a cuticle balm, hand lotion, and hair smoother. It truly is "many purpose." I own an Argon Oil Hair Mist in Summer Nights as well, and find it to be an excellent skin oil as well. The Hair Mists aren't currently available as the new web store gets up and running, but it is worth messaging the shop owner, Allison, for availability.

I cannot recommend products from Epically Epic highly enough. Go! Go now! Go get yourself some Rainbow Sherbet lip balm! The prices are reasonable, and the goodies are outstanding.

*All items purchased by me, for personal use. All reviews are the opinion of The Soctopus.*

So, This Happened. Again.

The Drawing: "Epic Battle To The Death - With Titties"

Stage 1: Outline.

Stage 2: Shading.

So. The Soctopus *might* have a few tattoos. Or a few more tattoos. Remember all those years the Soctopus said she wanted a full back piece? Yeah, well...it's happening. Stage 1, aka 6 hours of nothing but a liner and some whiskey, was earlier this year. Let me tell you, 6 hours of just a liner needle is not fun. At all. Stage 2, aka "I can so do this, shading is easy!", happened two weeks ago. Next is color, and then the last session: background (water and tiny sharks). So I've said for years that when my back is done, I'm done with tattoos. Yeah...Not so much now. Next up is a coverup of terrible swallow that is terrible, which will become giant octopus that is giant and awesome. That'll be R hip, R butt cheek, R leg. Go big or leave the tentacles to someone else. After the octopod, half sleeves are next. One sea creature half sleeve, one candy/cake/ice cream half sleeve. Help. I've fallen into tattoo needles and I can't get up.

Oh yeah, and these little guys - a heart on the back of each arm. Whoops.

I Bought Shiny Things!

Oh, hey err'body! I bought a bunch of crap at Sephora! Reviews coming soon. In the meantime, what's coming:

- Sephora+Pantone Universe Marsala liquid liner
- Sephora Cleansing Water
- Sephora Waterproof Black retractable liner
- NARS lip pencil thingys
- Elizabeth + James Nirvana BLACK perfume (I know, I know...I hate myself for this, too)

Oh, and a bunch of lingerie. But I'm not reviewing that for the internets. SORRY.

Who's Your Daddy?

Who loves her parents? The Soctopus!

Oh, hey Dad, I did a thing!

So. This happened. Again.

*Aaaaand I'm an idiot who forgot to mention that my work is done by Khalil Linane at Fist Full of Metal. Go see him, because he's awesome.*

Arrrr...gh.

So. It's time for some tentacled catch up. The Soctopus is still alive and kicking. Cranky as hell, but then, that's baseline these days. The above picture is of Captain Soctopus, on Halloween, that most venerable of holidays. A pretty good costume this year. Halloween was a hell of a lot of fun, and the Soctopus only threw one drink on someone! Not too shabby!

In other news, the 'Pus is decidedly over dating and meeting new people. It's like a game of Goldilocks from hell. No one person ever seems to fit quite right. So in the meantime, the 'Pus is going to concentrate on friends and family and founding an island of puppies to retire to. All dating apps deleted, all profiles retired. I suppose I hit dating shenanigans critical mass so it was time to take the Soctopus out of the game.

Did I learn anything? Actually, yes, but more about myself and what I do/don't want in a partner. Number one lesson: dating has changed in the past decade. A lot. Oy vey. Sexting. Sexy emojis. Too much to take in. Lesson two: while there are good men out there, you have to sort through approximately eleventy assholes to meet them. Decidedly not worth it. Lesson three: hot guys are *more* insecure than their less hot brethren. The best looking guy I dated was a complete hot mess, obsessed with his muscles and how women viewed him. Spoiler alert: not well.

Another lesson learned: if you remind me of Mr. Soctopus, either in actions or mannerisms, I will notice it immediately and kick you to the curb. Examples: treating my friends defensively, trying to control who/when I see, being emotionally vacant/unavailable. Last (short) relationship ended abruptly when I realized I was dating Mr. Soctopus 2.0. Immediate reaction: "run for the hills, DANGERRRRRRR!" Which is healthy, and a nice realization. The Soctopus prioritized healthy wants and needs over ridiculously good-looking! (I know, I know, I kinda can't believe it either.)

On the plus side, the Soctopus bought a panda-bear onesie and has decided that pretty much makes err'thing OK. Panda-pus? Soctopanda-bear? 

So Emo...

An introspective night, thinking of someone who came and went from my life, like a hurricane. A friend recently said some relationships are short and sweet, but no less meaningful. So that is the one I think of in the dead of night - short, fraught with emotion, but no less meaningful for its short duration.

Tonight, I can't help but think of this man, this flawed, beautiful, funny man. And I wonder: beautiful man, do you ever think of me? Do you lie awake in the dark of night, wondering how I am, if I ever think of you? It's been a long time since I thought of this lovely man, but tonight, I can't help but wonder, and feel, and think that I'm glad I had the short time that I spent in his company. I call it my "girl brain," that irrational hunger to know where he is at. It's unhealthy, and nothing good can come of it, but I want to know: do you sometimes think of me, too, and wonder what might have been? Do you miss my jokes, and terrible selfies? I miss you, beautiful man. I hope you're well, and happy. I hope you smile everyday. And I hope you remember me with a smile, a fond memory of the girl that passed through your life.

I won't contact this man, even though I want to reach out. So I'll just write this blog, in the wee hours of the night, and let out my feelings, and tomorrow I'll wake up, make my coffee, and he'll be a fond memory once more. Goodnight, beautiful man, I miss you.